I’ve been standing here for weeks 
Staring through the holes 
Trying to convince myself I’m strong enough 
Trying to convince us that we are strong enough 
But they won’t listen 

I understand how they feel 
weeks without meals 
Pushed far past their mental limits 
But even then, desperation feeds commitment 
Sometimes depression 

I might be insane 
That what they tell me 
But sometimes freedom calls for a little 
Anywhere sounds better than here 
Anywhere else but here 

Tonight’s the night we run 
If we have enough 
I…

Been trying, for a long time, to hide from myself. I know the….well…I don’t know shit. 

….kind of freeing just writing that out on a board. 

Seeing it look back at you moments after you wrote it. 

I don’t know shit. 

But I feel. 

I feel. 

And that’s terrifying. 

and beautiful. 

What do I feel? 

I feel the regulars, despair, fruitlessness, depravity, senselessness, hopelessness, 

All the drunken roads I’ve gone down a thousand times over 

I should have been in a circus. 

How pathetic that you…

Every tear is a warm embrace holding you, 

Every sob is her laugh in your ears, 

Even in silence there are memories to sooth you, 

Because we are testaments to the life in her years, 

Every smile a reminder of her kindness, 

Every shoulder you bury your face into, 

Is Cindy holding you oh so tightly, 

Because she’s held onto that person too, 

So every time you smile at a stranger, 

Every time you laugh with a friend, 

She’ll be there, with us, laughing together, 

Because through us her life…

Now I know I haven't been social 
And at points I seem displacement 
It's hard to look in someones eyes 
When you don't know what your feeling 

I've been reviewing past events 
and working on acception 
As many know, and some have been told 
This life is full of reprobation 

Broken trust, lies and lust 
Have followed me through my ages 
Theres been times where I've crossed all lines 
Found death, yet felt so ageless 

There's a part of me that swears 
There won't be any tears 
When I ride away on that final ferry 

…

God didn't say judge those lost on their knees 
He said throw down your pride and follow me 
I have more to give to you than any of those thieves 
That steal your passions for their own selfish dreams 
You have to die in your stride to make God your only 
Well I'm calling you on your shit because I know I still believe 
Like Elijah by the river, not like Jonah in the sea 
I've been thrown off your yacht and found peace by the stream 
They keep telling me I'm lying if I don't believe what they believe 
Well guess…

I'm not rich, I'm not poor 
As a matter of fact, I'm not sure 
What those words mean anymore 
I've slept like a king, I've begged on the streets 
I've eaten well, I've gone hungry for weeks 
I've been the adored student and the exiled fiend 
I've been the proud child and the forgotten black sheep 
I'm not good, but I'm not bad 
I know what I've lost and I know what I've had 
I know who I've been, I know where I've gone 
I know every silence, I know every song 
I know each of the Angels and Demons by name 
In my defense…

If you don't know where you're going. 
If you don't know where to turn 
Look to the ground for ancestors 
Look to the sky to learn 
Because the world is rolling 
With or without your blessing 
It won't wait for the corner to turn 
And the skyline silhouette jackalope 
Will reach the water and back i know 
We could meet up and play by the ferns 
Don't get caught up with your disease 
Playing games like droned out teens 
Waiting for the bite sized treats 
To finish nuking in the unnatural heat 
Instead find a tune 
Meet a…

Remember when we would play for hours every day? 
No plans, only skipping and dancing to the next quiet stream 
Helping with chores so we could leave that much sooner 
Roaming the streets with skateboards and scooters 
Amusing the neighbors with our imaginative ventures 
We were kids then 
Intimidated by nothing 
Overwhelmed by everything 
So filled by the need for something more 

Do you still think about playing in the morning? 
Or has it all become a chore? 
A tired bore before you can finally sleep some more 
A…

If I were to write a letter to the one that I remember I would etch it on the face of the sky 
If I were to write a sonnet for the boy who lost his wallet I would compose a verse that kept him wondering why 
Because we all find joy in something that encompasses our wanderings 
A word, a quote, a faint remembrance of pride 
But we always miss the problems cause the ego says he'll solve them 
In my years all he's ever done is lied

I started out simple, a taker and a giver 
But I always felt life could be simpler 
I left my home in heart and in mind 
Traveled through hell to see who I could find 
I strayed through the land looking for omens 
I thought it all started with just one man 
One book, one faith, one constant stream 
But without the mountains it had no meaning 
Without the streets, the beggars, the thieves 
I found it pointless while others found dreams 
So I kept on moving, swimming and grinding 
Through another day, through one more…